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Smiling at //YOU
UPGRADE LAST MILLENNIUM SPECIAL dec 27 2000 The UPGRADEmag is a global edutainment round-up ‘broadcast’ weekly to =[9016]= Rave//New Age//Alternative//Activist folks who have been recommended to the Parallel YOUniversity/ Megatripolis Dance Dept as "showing signs of life." Many choose to forward it to their own lists, making an estimated recipients. And, because of its less specialist content, it's increasingly being posted on a variety of sites worldwide, making a total ‘readership’ of, conservatively, 150,000+ ******************************************************************** BREAKING NEWS: GOD OVERRULES SUPREME COURT VERDICT Bush to be smitten later today In a stunning development this morning, God invoked the "one nation, under God" clause of the Pledge of Allegiance to overrule last night's Supreme Court decision that handed the White House to George Bush. "I'm not sure where the Supreme Court gets off," God said this morningon a rare "Today" show appearance, "but I'm sure as hell not going to lay back and let Bush get away with this bullshit." "I've watched analysts argue for weeks now that the exact vote count in Florida 'will never be known.' Well, I'm God and I DO know exactly who voted for whom. Let's cut to the chase: Gore won Florida by exactly 20,219 votes." Shocking political analysts and pundits, God's unexpected verdict overrules the official Electoral College tally and awards Florida to Al Gore, giving him a 289-246 victory. The Bush campaign is analyzing God's Word for possible grounds for appeal. "God's ruling is a classic over-reach," argued Bush campaign strategist Jim Baker. "Clearly, a divine intervention in a U.S. Presidential Election is unprecedented, unjust, and goes against the constitution of the state of Florida." "Jim Baker's a jackass," God responded. "He's got some surprises ahead of him, let me tell you. HOT ones, if you know what I mean." God, who provided the exact vote counts for every Florida precinct, explained that bad balloting machinery and voter confusion were no grounds to give the White House to "a friggin' idiot." "Look, only 612 people in Palm Beach County voted for Buchanan. Get real! The rest meant to vote for Gore. Don't believe me? I'll name them: Anderson, Pete; Anderson, Sam, Jr.; Arthur, James; Barnhardt, Ron..." Our Lord then went on to note that he was displeased with George W. Bush's prideful ways and announced that he would officially smite him today. In an act of wrath unlike any reported since the Book of Job, God has taken all of Bush's goats and livestock, stripped him of his wealth and possessions, sold his family into slavery, forced the former presidential candidate into hard labor in a salt mine, and afflicted him with deep boils. Dick Cheney will reportedly receive leprosy. //YOULE 01 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADVERTISINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG SUN DEC 31 TRANCE TERMINAL -- Beamish, Oberon, Mark Allen, Chrisbo, Lab 4, Quirk, Man with no Name CATCH 23 HARD HOUSE HANGAR -- Lisa Pin-up (frantic/Nukleuz), Darren Pearce, Spencer Freeland (frantic/Nukleuz), BK (frantic/Nukleuz), Jamie Robinson DEKEFEX BREAKS 'N BEATS CIRCLE -- DJ Sketrik, DJ Bombjack, Nu, Biskit, Jazu + breakdance routines from SIN Cru AMBIENT MEDITATION LOUNGE -- Baraka, Ed Cosmic, Glen Orpheus, Wilkie, Dave Arc- I, DJ Smith @ Brixton Academy, Stockwell Road, Brixton, SW9. 9pm-6am. £27.50 in advance from all usual outlets, more on door. RTTS 020 7735 5522. Rough Trade 020 7229 8541. Chocis Chewns 020 7434 3097. Academy Box Office 020 7771 2000. Wilde Ones 020 7376 7982. Pendragon 020 7733 3450. Ambient (Soho) 020 7437 0521. Cyberdog 020 7836 7855. Stargreen (Oxford St) 020 7734 8932. Dragon Discs (Camden) 020 7267 8320. Rough Trade (Covent Gdn) 020 7240 0105. Rhythm (Camden) 020 7267 0123. On-line from www.rtts.com PLUS ALL TICKETMASTERS NATIONWIDE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADVERTISINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG HERE'S SMILING AT YOU, FLOWER CHILD Smiling is infectious; you catch it like the flu, When someone smiled at me today, I started smiling too. I passed around the corner, someone caught my grin, And When he smiled I realised I'd passed it on to him. When I thought about that smile, I realised its worth A single smile like mine could travel round the earth! So, if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected - Let's start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected! Sent in by Janina reflect on this smile to a friend YOULE 02 ******Hi Fraser!******* Just love receiving your UPGRADEs after not seeing them for such a long time. Like a breath of fresh air, always enjoy your unusual way of putting things. Thanks for the info on Planet Angel Party, sounds right up my alley!! Thanks for all your work, keep it up!! Have a cool Yule! Elayne/great ruaha <and nice meeting you and your lovely sisters at Planet Angel, elayne> YOULE 03 KISSTHISGUY DOT COM (//YOU feedback) "Me too, I always misheard Bob Dylan's song the same way! Except, being a Yank, I somehow conjured it in my mind to a mobile home, which to be stuck in would give me the blues too!" <Adniralc@earthlink.net> ======== "hey fraser- love your updates, one of the few i actually stop to read (and forward). I just wanted to drop a line to say how much the YOUniversity UPGRADEs are appreciated, and to send best holiday wishes. with that said, here's the snide american response to your KISSTHISGUY.COM piece: mr. zimmerman wasn't referring to sitting outside a gas station! of course, one shouldn't expect all to know the geographical nuances of the southern region of america...unless you're american, that is. or did you know that already? peace through beats!" chris gin / dj- crobar chicago / former managing/music editor- thousand words magazine, usa YOULE 04 "Fraser, Thanks for keeping us connected and for promoting values worth sharing. Have a blissed out Xmas and New Year. " Simon Phillips | AGENCY.COM | Editorial Director YOULE 05 AGAPE ORGANIC DANCE THEATER performing 'Khaotica I'' @ The Learning Party <http://www.element-zero.com/agape>http://www.element-zero.com/agape [features clips of motion-poet Mo Stoebe] YOULE 06 SAVE THE TRFALGAR SQUARE PIGEONS (YOU feedback) "Dear Fraser I think Ken Livingstone is right about the pigeons. They are useless and disgusting parasites that carry more diseases than rats do. Especially psiticosis which is responsible for more and more deaths each year. (Psiticosis is contracted through the inhaling of dust from dried pigeon excrement and affects people with respiratory problems as well as the aged). I don't know about you but I'm more concerned about the welfare of people rather than vermin. No one would consider the daily feeding of thousands of rats in Trafalgar Square, but pigeons are little more than rats with wings. Except that they are dirtier and less intelligent. With respect," Peter Ridsdale ========== "Hi Fraser, I'm sorry, but my sympathy with animals does not extend to enabling the pigeons of Trafalgar Square to proliferate. The description of these destructive, building-spattering, disease-carrying beasts as "rats with wings" is in my opinion entirely appropriate. Judging by the state of their feet, urban pigeons don't seem to lead the nicest lives anyway - any more than feral cats and dogs do in developing world cities. And, like those cats and dogs, it is not kindness to allow them to breed unchecked. I'm completely with Mayor Ken on this one." Gus Cairns < way i see it is who gave US 2 legged, bigheaded rats somehow grant ourselves permission to grab all this land for our cities and cover it all in concrete and poisons, and then, as if that's not enuff, the few who DO manage to adapt to our shit WE say it's not fair! whew. the city foxes are doing real well, why not pigeons? funny i nearly used the rats' wings saying AGAINST the mayor. indeed everyone seems to quote this i really wonder where it came from? some spin doctor? i'd like to suggest an alternative: angels with fleas. really human ARROGANCE seems to know no bounds. we mutilate and mutate cows till we force distress/disease on them and then we slaughter MILLIONS of them (all politely off-stage of course) ugghhh human race? u can keep it!. i just hope aliens take us over and YOU PIGEON ASSASSINS escape and adapt and then some bizzy alien spots u one day because u're dirty by then... this is all pretty jokey btw, i'm not THAT scunnered* with the human race. :-) > * scottish for pissed off and disgusted YOULE 07 SUN DEC 31 THE REAL MILLENNIUM MULTI-CRAZY EXPERIENTIAL PSYCHEDELIC SQUAT PARTY Presented by ID SPIRAL, liquid collective & NAGUAL SOUND EXPERIMENT + all you WARPERS! maxi-sensory hyper-spatial navigation through throbbing meta-rhythms trancendental breaks and melting grooves performers installations artworks loads of sooper chill sacred healing space video party poetry live tunes herbs organics and breakfast. 07939-367710 or 0207-644-5156 YOULE 08 HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH * YOUR PLANET NEEDS //YOU! this HipList grows by recommendation. RECOMMEND SOMEONE TODAY!!!!!!!!!! * to be REMOVED from the HipList, reply to fraser with the word REMOVE in the Subject box * to comment on or debate anything in the UPGRADE, dubbleklik this link: <http://www.parallel-youniversity.com/GroupMind/> * we never have space to publish everything, so check the EMAG on our site for the longer, deeper stuff * yes, yes, send us any edutaining news’n views no need to ask! :-) HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH |