Top Ten Curries //YOU UPGRADE  nov 22  2000

The UPGRADEmag is a global edutainment round-up ‘broadcast’ weekly to =[8987]= Rave//New Age//Alternative//Activist folks who have been recommended to the Parallel YOUniversity/ Megatripolis Dance Dept as “showing signs of life.”   Many choose to forward it to their own lists, making an estimated 18,000 recipients.  And, because of its less specialist ccontent, it's increasingly being posted on a variety of sites worldwide, making a total ‘readership’ of, conservatively, 125,000+
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MORE SHAMANIC RAVERS THAN CHURCH GOERS!
Attendance at Church of England services dropped last year to its lowest since records began.  Barely 800,000 now regularly attend Sunday services..

///////////////////////YOU 206
London
TUES NOV 28     O-box
For lyrics of an ontological nature and techno/punk soundscapes fed by blessed herb (it sez here).
£5, or £4 with flyer download from this UPGRADEmag.page or flyer download from.www.obox.co.uk
9.30pm @ Water Rats Theatre, Grays Inn Road, Kings Cross.

"I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes." 
///////////////////////YOU 207
London
FRI DEC 1       SYNAPSE
A new regular happening celebrating the past, present, and future of psychedelic trance, techno, breakbeat and trip hop.  Audio Visuals, Snow Machine, Circudelicus, Art, Interactive Theatre Group, Wizards, Elves, Jugglers, Bongos, Dancers, Stalls, Organic food.  Featuring HYDRA, MATT HANDY, INSTRUMENTAL, ZEN, GREG NICE.
@ Tyssen Street Studios  £10 (£! off with printout of this UPGRADEmag.page)    07720 928953
futurefathers@hotmail.com

///////////////////////YOU 208

TOP TEN CURRIES IN UK

1.      Chicken Tikka Massala
2.      Chicken Madras
3.      Chicken Jalfrezi
4.      Chicken Korma
5.      Chicken Dhansak
6.      Rogan Josh
7.      Tandoori Chicken
8.      Chicken Tikka
9.      Lamb Pasanda
10.     Chicken Makhani
"I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to undo it."

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MORE NUCLEAR ENERGY!
The Royal Commission on Environmental Pollution has ruled that Britain will need 46 new nuclear power stations to help save the planet from global warming.

///////////////////////YOU
"hi fraser,
i normally dig your mail-outs, but i always worry about the veracity of information received over the internet... most (if not all) the quotes you attributed to george w. bush used to be attributed to dan quayle. whether they are genuine quayle-isms is anyone's guess... but they're not bush-isms,.they're funny lines, but you lose a lot of overall credibility when you send out such obviously incorrect information.  i think the guy is a moron too... i believe he did once say "i don't listen to music, don't watch movies and don't read books - never have!"  now _that_ is a scary quote from the potential next president of the usa.
Cheers"
grufty jim.

<I agree with YOU, grufty jim.  I hate magazines that mix too much satire with the  facts.  I did NOT realise these were old jokes and, funny as they are, I wouldn't have used them if I had.>

///////////////////////YOU
A 3rd World Country?
PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION IN THE DISUNITED HATES OF APATHY DECLARED SCANDALOUS    a special report from ourThird World/Hallf Price Correspondent
Children in developing countries were advised today to study closely the recent presidential election in DHA (Disunited Hates of Apathy) as a warning example of what can go wrong in a democracy.  The Zimbabwean politican who made the statement cited the following points:-
-       the self-declared winner's 'victory' turned on disputed votes cast in a province governed by his brother!
-       the self-declared winner lost the popular vote but won on the basis of some colonial holdover (electoral college) from the nation's pre-democracy past.
-       the self-declared winner's father was the former president, and former head of the nation's secret police (CIA).
-       the poorly drafted ballots of a district heavily favoring the opposition led thousands of voters to vote for the wrong candidate.
-       members of DHA's most despised caste, fearing for their lives/livelihoods, turned out in record numbers to vote in near-universal opposition to the self-declared winner's candidacy.
-       state police working for the self-declared winner's brother intercepted hundreds of members of that same caste on their way to the polls.
-       though six million people voted in the disputed province, tthe self-declared winner's 'lead' was less than a thousand, or 0.02%.  Fewer, certainly, than the vote counting machines' margin of error.
-       the self-declared winner's political party opposed a more careful manual inspection re-counting in the disputed province or in its most hotly disputed district.
-       the self-declared winner, himself a governor of a major province, had the worst human rights record of any province in his nation, and actually led the nation (and most of the planet) in executions.
-       a major campaign promise of the self-declared winner was to appoint like-minded human rights violators to lifetime positions on the nation's high court.

Such an election, declared the Zimbabwean politician, was not representative of anything other than the self-declared winner's will-to-power.
In mid November (AND THIS IS TRUE!) Castro offered to send neutral observers to oversee the judical and voting process in that other democracy-busting country, the USA!

"I've learned that sometimes the person you expect to kick you when you're down, kicks you when you're down."
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RE-BRANDING DEATH               (YOU196a feedback)
"About Patti's out of body experience....truly bewildering!  Makes me wonder "what if...?" Yeah, what if it happens to me when I have to go under just for a minor test?  Scary, yet perplexing!  I mean, you hear of this happening, hell I've even seen it on t.v., but who believes?  Extraordinary!
When your book is done I would like a copy of it so keep me in mind!"
-       Hungarian Gypsy
-       
///////////////////////YOU 210

//YOUR PLANET NEEDS YOU URGENT//        (YOU180 feedback)
"This fella, (davrah) seems to be the scum of the fallen earth.  Toss him in the ozone!. Well said by the GREEN MACHINE!"
- Hungarian Gypsy.

///////////////////////YOU 211

ECO-CHICKENS SHUT DOWN IMPORTER OF GM SOYA
At 8.00 am on Monday Nov 20, sixty Greenpeace volunteers dressed as pantomime chickens invaded and shut down the UK's only GM soya mill.  The invasion comes the day after fast food chain McDonalds announced that it was to ban meat from animals fed on GM in its UK stores.  The plant at Gladstone Docks, Liverpool, is the main gateway for GM crop imports into the UK and processes both GM and normal soya. Most of the crop is mixed into animal feed, while oil extracted from the beans is sold for use in food such as crisps and biscuits.  Neither GM animal feed or GM derivatives in food are required to be labelled.

Greenpeace accuses Cargill, the multinational company running the plant, of sneaking GM crops into the UK foodchain. The volunteers intend to continue the occupation until the company agrees to stop GM imports into the UK and makes the Liverpool facility GM free. The chickens were concealed in four trucks which were driven into the plant through the main gate.  The trucks were immobilised, blocking the
weigh-stations used by grain trucks as they enter and leave the site.  Sixty chickens then burst out of the back of the trucks and dispersed across the facility.  Many have now chained themselves to equipment in the plant.  A team of Greenpeace climbers also scaled and shut down a 40-metre-high conveyor belt, which transports soya from silos to the crushing plant.  After attaching a 'GM INSIDE' banner to the mechanism they set up camp in a Portaledge (a small tent suspended over the side of the conveyor belt). Cargill security workers are present at the scene and attempting to round up chickens.

"Most people don't know that GM is still being sneaked into our food chain by being dumped into the feed of animals like chickens. By continuing these GM imports, Cargill is ignoring valid public concerns about the effects of feeding GM crops to animals and the environmental risks involved in growing them. This one plant is responsible for importing almost all the GM soya that enters the UK foodchain.  If Cargill ends these imports and stops contaminating our animal feed supply, they will be satisfying both the public and the majority of food producers and retailers who want food that is GM free". Emma Gibson/Greenpeace.

A recent opinion poll by NOP, commissioned by Greenpeace, found that 67% of consumers wanted an end to the practice of feeding GM crops to animals.  90% thought that products from animals raised on GM crops should be labelled.  Iceland, Tesco, Sainsbury, CWS, Asda and Marks and Spencer have
all committed to the removal of GM from animal feed.

For up to date information on the progress of the action anr for additional background on the protest and the issue of GM ingredients being used in animal feed go to the Greenpeace UK website -
<http://www.greenpeace.org.uk/>www.greenpeace.org.uk>

As a result of UK consumer rejection of GM food and the failure of the US grain industry to segregate GM from non-GM crops, exports of soya from the US to UK have tailed off dramatically in the past three years. The US Department of Agriculture predicts that in 2000 their soya exports to the UK will be as low as 150,000 tonnes - down from 500,000 tonnes in 1998.
To check if there's GM in your shopping basket:
<http://www.greenpeace.org.uk/gm>www.greenpeace.org.uk/gm>

"I've learned to say "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke" in 6 languages."

///////////////////////YOU 212

LIFE SENTENCE
It costs £16,000 per year to send someone through Eton, the UK's most famous public school.  It costs  £25,000 to keep someone in prison.

///////////////////////YOU 213

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