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TAKE OVER! (\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/) the UP! //:-) 141 dec 25 2002 la - la - la - lap-toppling da system! (\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/) TEXT JOCKEY // TJ PHRASER (fraser clark) & THE MEDIA EVOLUTION MIXING THE TRACTS LIVE ON THE KEYBOARD @ A MEDIA-MEME RATE OF 160 IPP * * Ideas Per Paragraph (\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/) (\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/) contents:
SANTA
GRANNIE
- of course (s)he
exists!Santa the Shaman - fraser says he was no christian but a mushroom totin’ Siberian shaman THREE CHEERS FOR THE TREES THIS XMAS AS THE ‘ROADLESS RULE’ IS UPHELD!!! Drama, Petty Tyrants and Allies without Bush and all the monsters your consiousness couldn’t evolve! FREE GRAND XMAS DINNER PUZZLER IS BUSH A MORON?! a sociopath? a reptile? a conspirator? “an ordinary guy” place YOUR bet! & A POLITICALLY CORRECT PAGAN MASS TO ALL OUR LEADERS EH READERS! (\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/
The
UP! (or UP!grademag) is a global edutainment round-up, ‘broadcast’ weekly to =[10,768]= Alternative// Activist// Zippy// Trance// New Age folks who have been recommended to the Parallel YOUniversity//Megatripolis Dance Dept as "showing signs of life". Since many recipients choose to forward it to their own lists, we estimate 30,000+ direct recipients. Further, because of its less 'specialist' content, it's increasingly being posted on a variety of sites worldwide, making a conservatively estimated total weekly ‘readership’ of 275,000+(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/)(\o/ UP! DOWN THE CHIMNEY :) WHAT BETTER WAY TO HELP A FRIEND (+ THE PLANET) START 2003 ON THE RIGHT FOOT THAN TO SUBSCRIBE THEM TO THE UP!!!! JUST HIT REPLY AND SEND FRASER THEIR ADDRESSES. OUR DIRECT READERSHIP NOW STANDS AT 10768, LET’S MAKE THAT 11,000!!!! AVA COOL YULE! WE WISH U BIG MUD PUDDLES & SUNNY YELLOW DANDELIONS! Why? Because when I look at a patch of dandelions, I see a bunch of weeds that are going to take over my yard but my kids see flowers for Mom, and blowing white fluff you can wish on. Because When I hear music, I know I can't carry a tune and don't have much rhythm so I sit self-consciously and listen but my kids feel the beat and move to it. They sing out the words. If they don't know them, they make up their own. Because When I feel wind on my face, I brace myself against it. I feel it messing up my hair and pulling me back when I walk but my kids close their eyes, spread their arms and fly with it, until they fall to the ground laughing. Because When I pray, I say thee & thou and grant me this, gimme that but my kids say, "Hi God! Thanks for my toys and my friends. Please keep the bad dreams away tonight. Sorry, I don't wanna go to Heaven yet, I’d miss Mum and Dad." Because when I see a mud puddle I see muddy shoes and dirty carpets and I step around it but my kids sit in it. They see dams to build, rivers to cross, and worms to play with. Are we given kids to teach or to learn from? Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realise they were the big things. So we wish you Big Mud Puddles & Sunny Yellow Dandelions! [heartwarmers] UP! SANTA GRANNIE My first Christmas adventure with Grandma, I remember tearing across town on my bike to visit her on the day my big sister dropped the bombshell: "There is no Santa Claus! Even dummies know that!" Finally it did, and there stood Bobby. Fifty years haven't dimmed the thrill of those moments spent shivering, beside my Grandma, in Bobby Decker's bushes. That night, I realised that those awful rumours about Santa Claus were just what Grandma said they were: ridiculous. Santa was alive and well, and we were on his team. I still have the Bible, with the tag tucked inside: $19.95 to prove it if I needed proof which I don’t. [PLANETNEWS via Heartwarmers] UP! advertising / advertising
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UP!Santa the Shaman Wherein Fraser establishes finally that that Santa Claus really was a mushroom totin’ Siberian shaman... Christmas celebrates the birth of a Jewish boy child in a village on the edge of a desert. Yet all over the Developed “Christian” West people await the arrival of an old Gift-Bringer called Santa or Father Christmas who ‘flies’ in from the land of perpetual snow. So, just who is this “jolly” cat in the red & white coat with the ‘merry, red nosed’ reindeer, who descends chimneys to have his cup of tea and leave gifts for everybody? Let’s investigate the mystery, as the Puritan Thought Police might say. 1823. Why? And where did the other aspects of the modern Santa myth come form - the flying sleigh, the reindeer, the coming down the chimney? Ancient languages? Bavarian? German? Dutch? Siberian? Is Santa the modern embodiment of the ancient European pagan tradition of the Shaman which Christianity never quite succeeded in totally replacing, though it forced its retreat further and further North until it perched on the vast, rolling tundra wastes of Siberia? The Koryak, Chukchee and Kamchadel tribes who live there today retain traditions and lifestyles which go back perhaps even to the end of the last Ice Age. But when and why did these old pagan beliefs become associated with the Christian legend of the Birth of a Newborn Child? Perhaps we need to turn the question around. The Christians had a definite colonial policy of superimposing their churches and myths on the sites of old pagan power spots and legends. Important midwinter pagan celebrations dramatising the Death of the Old Year and the Rebirth of the New Year existed long, long before Christ’s birthday feast. From the energetic and cruel suppression of the seasonal ‘Saturnalia’ and ‘Yuletide’ we can see that they continued among the general populace at least up till Cromwell’s Puritans. Indeed they continued, as we have seen, right up to today in border areas. The Greatest ‘Gifts’ of All? Among these ‘unspoiled’ peoples the Shaman still combines the roles of priest, psychiatrist, doctor, rock star, historian, magician and story teller. His duty is to ensure the spiritual welfare of the tribe, which he achieves by entering an ecstatic ‘trance’ and ‘flying’ (psychic travelling) to the Underworld (renamed ‘Hell” by the Christians) to defeat the demons of disease, disorder and depression, or ‘flying’ to the Upperworld (renamed ‘Heaven”) to consult the gods. He is, in fact, the ‘middleman’ who conveys question, problems and requests from the people to the gods, and brings back divine ‘gifts’ to the tribe in the form of answers to spiritual and physical problems, new songs and dances, plant medicine and ‘magic’, visions, poems and legends. In some Lapp epics people write messages to the gods, then burn them in the fire in the belief that they travel up through the smoke hole, while ‘gifts’ from the heavens descend via the same route. Are these the ‘gifts’ that Santa brings to all of Good Children? Santa’s Red and White Coat? Well, it turns out that, to help their ‘flying,’ shamans frequently eat the red&white spotted fly agaric (Amanita Muscaria) mushrooms (wouldn’t you know!?) It produces spectacular visions, including the experience of ‘flying’ - the feeling of leaving the body and travelling in the upper realms. Red and white, see? Indeed, reports tell us that all the inhabitants of Siberia were immensely fond of them. “When they make a feast, they pour water upon some of these mushrooms, boil them, and drink the liquor, which intoxicates them. The poorer sort, who cannot afford them, post themselves round the huts of the rich, and when the guests come down to piss, they hold a wooden bowl to receive the urine, which they drink of greedily, as having some virtue of the mushrooms.” FJ von Strahlenberg, a Swedish prisoner of war. Sometimes they would drink their own urine. Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer? What about reindeer? Well, actually, it turns out that, since reindeer still provide these tribes with food, clothing, utensils and ornaments (as once across all Europe) they play a vital role in their religious and mythological traditions. Indeed each reindeer is considered a personification of the Great Reindeer Spirit. Hence the “Horned God”? Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is clearly as “merry” as Santa (see below) Santa’s Cup of Tea? But Don’t Get Pissed! Another virtue of the mushroom, in small doses, is as a strength tonic, and the Koryak, before travelling great distances with their reindeer as beasts of burden, would give the animals and themselves a strong, intoxicating slug of mushy tea. With Santa having to travel immensely long distances in one night, can we deny him his little cup of tea/ infusion? Coming down the Chimney? For their yurts (winter dwellings) Siberians excavate a large hole and throw over it a roof of birch logs. A fire is kept going inside, with a smoke hole directly above it, which also serves as the main entrance. Does Santa come down the chimney instead of through the front door because, where and when he comes from, front door and chimney are the same? The shaman also ‘flies’ in or out via the smokehole. And in Germany and other parts of northern Europe, the Fly Agaric mushroom is the patron saint of chimney sweeps. Which just about closes this case, serge. But the real ‘resurrection’ of Christmas, into the neo-pagan festival we celebrate today, had to await the arrival from America of Merry old Santa with his reindeer. How appropriate that such a shamanistic story should re-emerge from the New World where the indigenous population - the American Indians - had themselves crossed over from Siberia to Alaska some 30,000 years before! And how appropriate that a shaman should direct our Xmas celebrations! For, shorn of its specific Christian content, the midwinter festival celebrates the magic of personal and planetary transformation. In the far distant but never quite forgotten past, it was the shaman who brought down the “gift” of change itself. There could be no more suitable Leader of the Feast! UP! Jerusalem, 1099...
“Entering the city, our pilgrims pursued and killed Saracens up to the Temple of Solomon, in which they had assembled and where they gave battle to us furiously for the whole day so that their blood flowed throughout the whole temple. Finally, having overcome the pagans, our knights seized a great number of men and women, and killed whom they wished and whom they wished they let live.... Then, rejoicing and weeping from extreme joy, our men went to worship at the sepulchre of our Saviour Jesus and thus fulfilled their pledge to Him.... They also ordered that all the Saracen dead should be thrown out of the city because of the extreme stench, for the city was almost full of their cadavers. The live Saracens dragged the dead out before the gates and made piles of them, like houses. No one has ever heard of or seen such a slaughter of pagan peoples - pyres were made of them like boundary marks, and no one except God knows their number." [Jerusalem, July 15, 1099 in Anonymous History of the Premiere Crusade (Histoire anonyme de la premiere croisade, L. Brehier, ed.)] UP! commitment
W.H.Murray"The moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of Events issues from the decision, raising in one's favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way" UP! TUES DEC 12 CHEERS FOR THE TREES THIS XMAS AS THE ROADLESS RULE IS UPHELD! From: Mother Earth's Lawyer A US federal appeals court today reinstated legal protections for SIXTY MILLION ACRES of wild national forest lands by reversing an injunction against the Roadless Area Conservation Rule. The rule, a Clinton-era measure that had banned most road building and logging in the remaining undeveloped portions of the TWO HUNDRED MILLION ACRE National Forest System, had been challenged by Boise Cascade and the state of Idaho. It was defended by Earthjustice on behalf of the Idaho Conservation League, Idaho Rivers United, Sierra Club, The Wilderness Society, Oregon Natural Resources Council, Pacific Rivers Council, and the Natural Resources Defense Council. An Idaho federal judge had enjoined the Roadless Rule, AND THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT had REFUSED TO APPEAL! Earthjustice did, however, and, when more than A MILLION PEOPLE submitted comments supporting the rule, such an unprecedented show of public support was key in the court's decision. Sorry to report, however, that, far from being a Beginning, this will probably not even be the end. Many legal challenges to protecting our planet are still in play. But for today, a victory! [TheEnvironmentalMovement remix] UP! Drama, Petty Tyrants and Allies The universe is predatory all is connected, feeds upon itself, and is part of the food chain. As Don Juan said of the dangers a Warrior encounters on the path, Death is always stalking us, while predators lie in wait at every turn of our journey. A recent drama in my life brought the realisation that things are always fluid and unsettled because they’re continually changing and because death is always ready to tap us on the shoulder. ‘Normally’ we’re not aware of this continual uncertainly until we experience the drama and chaos created by petty tyrants or by some loved ones death. In such a moment of clarity it becomes apparent how easy it is to slip into the illusion that our outer world is under control, fixed and constant. In such a slumber we become rigid and our awareness atrophies. But when the sting of the petty tyrant presents itself we either receive a shock (as Gurdjieff spoke about) which jolts us back into awareness or we remain slap dab in the middle of the drama. One feeds on the other. Without the petty tyrants in our lives, we might remain in our slumber, never awakening. Like the curbs marking the boundaries of the city streets, so do drama and petty tyrants mark the paths of awareness. Without the aid of these predators, it would be MUCH more difficult (if not impossible) to grow. For it’s from the taming of these predators that we create ‘allies’. Our greatest weaknesses can be transformed into our greatest strengths. Our greatest petty tyrants can become our greatest teachers. The Native Americans judged a man’s greatness by the greatness of his enemies. So, if the drama is strong and the tyrants are many, count yourself blessed! Mark Sutton / toltecmysteryschool UP! GRAND XMAS DINNER PUZZLER IS THE LEADER OF THE INSANE WORLD, (eh insane leader of the world?) A MORON? JUST AN ORDINARY KINDA GUY? A SMART POLITICIAN? A SOCIAL PSYCHOPATH? A POOR RICH KID? A PASSIVE SERIAL KILLER? AN ACTIVELY SURREAL KILLJOY? AN ALIEN REPTILE DOING WORLD TAKE OVER? A BUDDING HITLER? OR JUST A REFORMED BUT DAMAGED ALKIE? ava nother whativer and place your bet. the correct answers are in the crackers so get cracking! BUSH IS A MORON Françoise Ducros, director of communications for Canada's Prime Minister Jean Chretien, said in a private conversation that Mr. Bush was a moron for the way he pushed his obsession over Iraq at a NATO meeting in Prague that had other important issues to resolve. BUSH IS ONE OF THE ALIEN REPTILES WHO’RE PLANNING TOTAL CONTROL OF THE EARTH David Icke. The Greatest Secret. BUSH Is A Charming Passive Serial Killer All serial killers, lacking the emotions that make us human, have to learn to emulate those emotions in order to get by in society. Hence, charming, well educated Ted Bundy murdered 15 women and may have killed another 30 before he was caught. When it comes to Bundy’s education and acquired charm, Bush is no Bundy; nor to our knowledge has he ever personally murdered anyone. But he set a record in signing death warrants as governor of Texas -154 in five years and it’s evident that there is something missing in George W. in terms of his lack of compassion and empathy. He even made fun of the way convicted killer Karla Faye Tucker begged for her life. A sign of a future serial killer is a child who delights in torturing and killing animals. Bush, as a child, did exactly that. A May 21, 2000, New York Times’ piece about the values Bush gained growing up in Midland, Texas, quoted a laughing childhood friend Terry Throckmorton: ’We were terrible to animals.” A dip behind the Bush home turned into a small lake after a good rain, and thousands of frogs would come out. ‘Everybody would get BB guns and shoot them. Or we'd put firecrackers in the frogs and throw them and blow them up.’ The corporate media, of course, has no interest in such material, nor what Bush was trying to hide by obtaining a new Texas driver license and his 1976 drunk driving conviction, or the fact he was AWOL from the Texas Air National Guard. It has depicted Bush as an affable, tongue-tied bumbler - the kind of guy Joe Six-pack would like to have a beer with - turning a blind eye to his dark underside. And as Bush had Afghanistan bombed back beyond the Stone Age, then declared there was an "axis of evil," and then that it was really Saddam Hussein who was the "mother of all evil", the corporate media cheered him on and to this day continues to beat the war drum. They have yet to consider that the Passive Serial Killer needs to feed his lust for blood by sending others to put their lives on the line and do the killing for him. In his Sept. 12 article, “White House insiders say Bush is ‘out of control,’” Mike Hersh wrote, "Some among Bush's trusted White House staff fear what they are seeing and where Bush is taking us. His state of mind hauntingly reminds them of Richard Nixon's Final Days. They fear Bush is becoming Nixonesque.... or worse. Although Bush lacks Nixon's paranoia, he may entertain even more dangerous notions." More proof lies in Alexandra Pelosi’s documentary, Journeys with George. As the daughter of incoming House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, she wangled the assignment to spend 18 months as part of Bush’s campaign press corps. Seemingly only a "home movie," as she calls it, which aims at nothing more than a love fest as George W. works to charm the pants off her and the rest of the press corps, the striking thing is that he isn’t tongue-tied when he’s pumping up his ego, dishing out digs and being sarcastic and crude. Mark Crispin Miller, a professor of media studies at New York University and author of The Bush Dyslexicon, also came to see the darker Bush. On Nov. 28 he told the Toronto Star: "Bush is not an imbecile, nor a puppet. I think that Bush is a sociopathic personality. I think he's incapable of empathy. He has an inordinate sense of his own entitlement, and he's a very skilled manipulator. And in all the snickering about his alleged idiocy, this is what a lot of people miss." Before he read all the transcripts. Miller had intended The Bush Dyslexicon to be a funny book, but they revealed "a disquieting truth about what lurks behind the cock-eyed leer of the leader of the free world. He's not a moron at all on that point. "He has no trouble speaking off the cuff when he's speaking punitively, when he's talking about violence, when he's talking about revenge. When he struts and thumps his chest, his syntax and grammar are fine. It's when he leaps into the wild blue yonder of compassion, or idealism, or altruism, that he makes these mistakes." Bush's ascent in the eyes of many Americans was the direct result of tough talk following Sept. 11. In those speeches, he stumbled not at all; his language of retribution was clear. It was a sharp contrast to the pre-9/11 George W. Bush. A corps of journalists were salivating at the prospect of a bafflingly inarticulate man in a position of power not seen since vice-president Dan Quayle rode shotgun on George H.W. Bush's one term in office. But equating Bush's malapropisms with Quayle's inability to spell "potato" is a dangerous assumption. In a speech in September, in Nashville, Bush’s script called for him to say: "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." But the words that came out of his mouth were, "Fool me once, shame... shame on... you”, followed by a long pause, then, "Fool me - can't get fooled again!" Says Miller, "What's revealing about this is that Bush could not say, `Shame on me.'. It’s a completely alien idea to him. This guy’s absolutely proud of his own inflexibility and rectitude... “There's an episode of Happy Days, where The Fonz has to say, ‘I'm sorry' and can't do it. Same thing.” Another example occurred early in Bush’s White House tenure when he said, "I know how hard it is to put food on your family." According to Miller, "That wasn't because he's so stupid he doesn't know how to say it right, it's because he doesn't care about people who can't put food on the table. And When he tries to talk about what this country stands for, or about democracy, he can't do it." So, when Bush is envisioning "a foreign-handed foreign policy," or observes on some point that "it's not the way that America is all about," it's because he can't keep his focus on things that mean nothing to him. This is why he's so closely watched by his handlers, Miller says; not because he'll say something stupid, but because he'll overindulge in the language of violence and punishment at which he excels. "He's a very angry guy, a hostile guy. He's much like Nixon. So they're very, very careful to choreograph every move he makes. They don't want him anywhere near protestors, because he would lose his temper. "I call him the feel bad president, because he's all about punishment and death. It would be a grave mistake to just play him for laughs." A grave mistake, indeed. If any of this is true, then Bush has achieved an astounding goal. By stumbling blithely along, he’s been able to push his image as "just folks" - a normal guy who screws up just like the rest of us. Indeed this is a central cog in his image-making machine: portraying the wealthy scion of one of America's most powerful families as a regular, imperfect Joe. But the depiction is also remarkable for what it hides - imperfect, yes, but also detached and wealthy. and unable to identify with the "folks" to whom he’s been designed to appeal. Bev Conover / Online Journal™. BUSH IS A BUDDING HITLER German Justice Minister Herta Däubler-Gmelin, made the observation recently that Bush's approach to avoiding domestic difficulties through war had previously been tried by Hitler. Though no more than dry fact, to this day Washington's Baby-Face-in-Chief refuses even to meet with the German Chancellor, a strange display for a man holding such power who’d would allow the matter to pass, calling upon a quality variously called grace or largesse or class. BUSH IS TOTALLY AN ASSHOLE Last year Japanese Foreign Minister Makiko Tanaka, daughter of a former prime minister, made the private observation at a dinner in America that Bush "is totally an asshole" - precisely the word Bush used during his election campaign to describe a newspaper reporter. Bush refused to apologize for a private remark. Tanaka's remark, too, was private, but she was soon forced out of the Japanese government. BUT WHEN ALL’S SAID’n DONE, BUSH IS A MORON "Technically, a moron is someone who is stupid but looks normal," said Albert Nerenberg, a Toronto-based film director who is completing a television documentary titled Stupidity. A controversy has erupted over newspaper reports that a top Canadian federal aide called Bush a "moron" for his hard-line stance on Iraq at the current NATO meeting in Prague. "Much has been said recently about Bush arriving at a point where he looks presidential," said Nerenberg. "What's intriguing about morons is that they can pass as just about anyone, but inside they're still morons." ‘Moron’ was coined by an American Psychologist during the early part of the century. It was added to the US version of the IQ test to screen out people who looked intelligent but weren't. A moron was considered to have an IQ between 50-75. "Sadly, we may be the world's only current stupidity experts," said Shannon Brown, producer of Stupidity and an executive at Trailervision. "There is very little true research on the important subject of stupidity, and the only self-proclaimed expert, James Welles, a Florida-based author, was recently arrested on serious charges for doing something extremely stupid." Stupidity features interviews with Noam Chomsky, John Cleese, Bill Maher and former Bush speechwriter David Frum. A trailer for Stupidity can be found at www.trailervision.com UP! & A POLITICALLY CORRECT PAGAN MASS TO ALL OUR LEADERS EH READERS! On the 12th day of Xmas - I mean the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, My Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship Gave to me... TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming, ELEVEN pipers piping (plus an 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their contract even though they won’t be asked to play a note), TEN melanin deprived, testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system a’leaping, NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-_expression, EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans, SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands, SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products, FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration, (NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at our computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitats. To avoid further Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised.) FOUR hours of recorded whale songs THREE deconstructionist poets TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses AND a Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree! [from zenbaba] UP! U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U UP P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P YOUR PLANET NEEDS //YOU! this HipList grows by recommendation. 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